Round 1: Warriors-Cavs

This Thursday the good Lord has blessed us basketball fans with a finals match like none other before! Ok, well maybe not like none other before. However, it’s definitely been a solid thirty years or so since we’ve had a NBA Finals match up like this one. You would have to go back to the days of Magic vs Bird to find a Finals match up that includes the two most talented teams in the league that also have the two best players in the world on opposing teams. Now I know what you’re thinking the title of this is wrong and it should be “Round 3: Warriors-Cavs”. And to that I have to say you are 100% wrong! Let’s take a trip down memory lane.

2015: Warriors vs LeBron and some bums                                                                             Under new head coach, Steve Kerr, Steph Curry has stepped on the scene in his Chef Curry 1’s and is ready to take the crown off LeBron’s head. The Warriors have captured the hearts of basketball fans everywhere. Finally a group of guys who are just really good at shooting a basketball are dominating the NBA. Done are the days of juggernaut teams filled with high flying backboard breaking freakish athletes. Hello trey ball and fundamentals with swag. Suburban kids everywhere who never thought they had the athleticism to make it to the NBA now have hope that one day their jump shot can land them in the league. Meanwhile, LeBron has decided Wade and Bosh are getting too old and wants to be a part of a younger Big 3. Lucky for him back home in Cleveland the Cavs have Kyrie Irving and are about to acquire Kevin Love. He returns home to Cleveland. The love he receives almost makes one think Cavs fans did not send him death threats, burn his jersey, or show him any other signs of hatred because he did what everyone else that lives in Cleveland wants to do and moved to South Beach.

After both squads completely demolish their opponents in the playoffs the stage is set for an epic NBA Finals. Except wait, Kevin Love gets taken out by hitman Kelly Olynyk before the Cavs get to the Finals. Now the Big 3 is now the Big 2. Which let’s be honest not too many people considered this a big lost for the Cavs. I have a feeling most people on the team felt the same way members of Dunder Mifflin felt when Andy Bernard had to leave for anger management counseling. However, for the sake of me being right losing K. Love was extremely devastating for the Cavs. He was there Michael Scott. Now here we are Game 1 Cavs lose by 8 to the Warriors. No big deal just make a few adjustments and they are ok going forward. Only one minor problem though Kyrie literally turns into old man Uncle Drew and cannot finish the series. LeBron channels his inner MJ/Mamba mentality for a couple of games, but in the end its the Suburban Street Shooters of the west coast who end up winning the Finals.

2016: Cavs vs actual suburban kids                                                                                                    LeBron is pissed that he wasn’t able to bring a title to Cleveland and the fans who like to love him, but also love to hate him if applicable. Steph decides to grow some facial hair to try to look rough and tough (fail btw Steph…from one baby face brother to another do not be ashamed). Warriors set a NBA regular season record in wins and are looking to repeat as champs.

Shocker LeBron makes it to the NBA Finals again and faces what some believe to be the GOAT of NBA teams, the Warriors. The Cavs Big 3 are all healthy and the Warriors are too for the most part (*Steph’s knee). Finally no more excuses for this so called King and heir to the throne of Your Airness MJ. Four games deep in the series and the Warriors are proving to everyone that they are indeed the GOAT of NBA teams. They are up 3-1 and are headed to Oracle Arena for the close out game. Champagne bottles have been bought, club VIP rooms have been booked, the Suburban Street Shooters and their loyal fan base are ready to celebrate again! Unfortunately,  for Dub Nation one of their key players, Draymond Green, is actually surrounded by champagne bottles and the likes during Game 5. No big deal they still have some muscle in Bogut and Iggy. In the words of Lee Corso, “Not so fast my friend”. Cavs win Game 5. Not only do the Warriors lose the game but they also lose Bogut for the series. LeBron taking advantage of the shift in momentum (if you do not believe in the Big Mo then stop reading this now…jk continue and share with friends) has willed the Cavs to a Game 6 victory. Here we go baby Game 7! Welp, if you are an MJ and/or Suburban Street Shooters fan the results of this game hurt. LeBron makes a big play and Kyrie makes an even bigger one to allow the Cavs to become the first team in NBA history to overcome a 3-1 deficit. The LeBron faithful flood the internet and anoint him as the GOAT, even though it is only his third ring…

2017: Cavs vs Warriors???                                                                                                                     LeBron having finally brought a title to Cleveland admits he is chasing the ghost of MJ, and thus has not yet achieved GOAT status. KD has had enough of Russdiculousness and is jumped into the Suburban Street Shooters crew.

So here we are today and we have a healthy Warriors team getting ready to face a healthy Cavs team. LeBron the greatest offensive composer in the game vs KD the most unstoppable scorer in the game. Both Kyrie and Steph with unreal handles and the ability to pull up from anywhere. Draymond trying to out physical Tristan. The Cavs cool handshakes vs the Warriors pre-game goofiness. This NBA Finals has two teams competing from all angles of the game. Barring no injuries or suspensions this will essentially be the first time the Warriors face the Cavs in the Finals. Round 1. FIGHT!

-Coach

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